Q&A with Xiomara Gallego-Bernard, author of Tomás Returns to School and Tomás Regresa a la Escuela.
Written by: Daniella Felix
What did you find the most challenging when writing Tomás Returns to School?
The most challenging aspect of writing Tomás Returns to School was finding the time. As a highly sensitive mother of three, effective time management was essential to staying calm and focused to complete the book. Once I identified my "pockets of time," everything began to fall into place.
What is something you wish people knew about highly sensitive children (HSCs)?
I want to emphasize that being highly sensitive is not a diagnosis or disorder, but rather a personality trait. Highly sensitive individuals may be easily overstimulated or overwhelmed by loud noises, large crowds, changes in routine, and transitions. They often possess deep empathy, kindness, and an awareness of subtle nuances in their environment. For highly sensitive children, it's crucial to invest time in understanding this trait so we can support them in the best way possible, ensuring they feel accepted rather than judged.
As I read Tomás’ Return to School, I began to think of my younger self. I think that in the past, children had to cope with their sensitivity on their own and hide it from their parents and peers, as well as teachers. Why do you think it’s important for HSCs to embrace their sensitivity?
As a highly sensitive person, I remember many instances in my childhood where I felt the need to hide my big feelings. Growing up in a Latino household, emotions were rarely discussed. I often avoided talking about my feelings out of fear of being scolded or judged. Emotional health was a taboo subject, leaving many of us to hide our struggles and carry on in silence.
It's important for HSCs to embrace their sensitivity because it will allow them to understand their unique strengths, like deep empathy, heightened awareness of their environment and strong intuition. When sensitivity is nurtured and understood properly, it can be a powerful asset rather than being seen as a weakness. When an HSC embraces their sensitivity, it also allows for developing healthy coping mechanisms to manage their emotions and build resilience in a world that can be overwhelming at times.
What made you decide to write your very first children’s book?
When my twins were two years old, I noticed that one of them was having frequent emotional meltdowns. He was crying a lot, fighting, throwing things and it was happening consistently. He was hitting all his developmental milestones, so when we spoke with his pediatrician, she didn’t see a reason for any evaluations or testing. However, the behavior continued and started to affect our entire family.
In my quest for understanding what was happening, I delved into research and discovered that being highly sensitive is not a diagnosis or disorder but rather a personality trait. I started to understand and view sensitivity in a new light.
With this newfound knowledge on the highly sensitive trait, I was inspired to write this book. I recognized a gap in literature addressing coping mechanisms for children facing situational triggers. I chose to focus on a specific challenge we faced—back-to-school season—and incorporated the breathing exercises and communication techniques we practiced at home into the narrative.
Do you think illustrations play an important role in storytelling?
Absolutely! Illustrations can truly bring the characters, settings and events in the story to life allowing readers to connect with the narrative in a deeper way. Words alone may not always fully capture the emotions within a story, so incorporating vibrant and engaging illustrations is essential for enhancing and complementing your book’s message.
I feel incredibly fortunate to have collaborated with the book’s illustrator, Irina Chasov, who captured its essence beautifully. She understood the significance of the message behind the story and brought that vision to life on every page.
Are there any children books that you recommend? Either to parents or to the younger ones!
For Children:
1. Tomás Returns to School (Tomás regresa a la escuela – Spanish version)
2. In My Heart by Jo Witek,
3. be happy! by Monica Sheehan
4. The Boy with Big Big Feelings by Britney Winn Lee
5. Feelings Ninja by Mary Nhin
6. Angry Ninja by Mary Nhin
7. Paint By Sticker Books by Workman Publishing
For Parents – These books were helpful on our journey to understanding the
highly sensitive trait.
1. The Highly Sensitive Child by Elaine Aaron
2. The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aaron
3. The Highly Sensitive Parent by Elain Aaron
4. Understanding the Highly Sensitive Child: Seeing an Overwhelming World through their Eyes (A Nutshell Guide) by James Williams
Aside from writing, what do you do in your spare time?
Outside of writing, I dedicate time to my wellness journey and use my skills as a wellness advocate to empower other women, especially moms, to lead healthier lives. I also cherish quiet moments at home with my husband and three sons.
Do you see yourself in any of the characters in Tomás Returns to School?
I see myself in both Tomás and Mamá. I relate to Tomás because the emotions he experiences in the story mirror those I faced as a child. The nerves, anxiety, and excitement were all part of who I was, so I understand what he’s going through. I also see myself in Mamá, as I am now a mom of a highly sensitive child. I can relate to her journey of figuring out how to best support Tomás while remaining calm and patient as she implements coping strategies.
What was your favorite scene? I might be a bit unbiased here, but my favorite scene was when Tomás helped a very anxious classmate, and how they became best friends at the end. I love the message of kindness always triumphing at the end of the day!
I have two favorite scenes. The first is when Tomás helps his classmate Oliver manage his emotions by using the breathing exercises he learned from Mamá. This beautifully illustrates Tomás sharing his superpower to support someone in need.
The other scene I love is when he comes home from school eager to share the exciting events of his day with Mamá. This is another great example of the emotional resilience our children can develop with the right support from their caregivers.
Did you always think of becoming a children’s books author or did it happen spontaneously?
I’ve contemplated writing a children’s book for several years. I have two other manuscripts in my office, but I never finalized them, perhaps out of fear. However, when I started my journey into understanding sensitivity, I realized there might be someone else struggling to support their highly sensitive child. So, I put on my confidence badge and started writing. This mission is too important not to share.
Was there something unexpected or surprising about the writing process?
Yes, there were a few unexpected and surprising aspects about the writing process. First, I didn’t anticipate how personal it would become. As I wrote the story, I recalled moments from my childhood where I struggled emotionally and didn’t receive the support I needed because my family lacked the knowledge I have today. This process was therapeutic, helping me understand who I truly am and allowing me to embrace my own sensitivity with pride.
Another unexpected challenge was experiencing writers block and doubt. There were days when I felt completely stuck and had moments where I questioned whether anyone would even support a book about a highly sensitive child.
How long did it take you to write Tomás Returns to School?
It took approximately two years.
Are you working on anything at the moment? Can we expect to read more of your fascinating writing soon?
Yes, I am currently working on the next book in the series where we will learn more about Tomás and meet new characters.
If your younger self read this book, what do you think she would say/think?
I believe my younger self would say thank you for seeing me and for supporting and advocating for highly sensitive children everywhere. I think she would be proud of the work that I’m doing to raise awareness about sensitivity. She would encourage me to keep going, reminding me that my story and my voice need to be shared.
How would you describe your book?
Tomás Returns to School is a children’s book that serves as an essential tool for parents and children in preparation for returning to school after the summer or a holiday break. It articulates Tomás’ feelings in a way that is easy for young children to understand. The lively, colorful illustrations and relatable emotions will appeal to young readers. Additionally, the interactive guide at the end of the book provides valuable strategies for parents to help their highly sensitive children manage their big emotions in a healthy way.
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