A Christmas Collection Like No Other: satirical essays in Christmas in a Jugular Vein by David Benjamin

Title: Christmas in a Jugular Vein

Author: David Benjamin

Publisher: Last Kid Books

ISBN & Price: 9798991716901, $20

Buy here.

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Christmas in a Jugular Vein by David Benjamin is a collection of short, satirical Christmas

stories spanning nearly six decades, written from Benjamin's high school years to 2024. The collection opens with a challenge from John Masefield: “Christmas ought to be brought up to date…It ought to have gangsters, and aeroplanes and a lot of automatic pistols,” setting the tone for the crude, hilarious, and, some might say, irreligious tales that follow. From nativity parodies to cultural commentary, Benjamin reimagines the Christmas spirit.

Benjamin references historical Christmas literature at the onset of the collection, critiquing

both the biblical storytellers and the more modern literature before Dickens as static and lacking suspense. He pays homage to Dickens’ influence in his writing, stating, “I share with Dickens, I hope, the conviction that the more Christmas stories, the more varied, whimsical, spooky, even transgressive, the better. It is our best, our most beloved and our most complicated festival,” (p. 8). Benjamin makes references to Dickens, the Bible, and other authors and works of literature, which enrich his satire by grounding it in real-world texts. He notes that his goal is to compose a new Christmas story every year, avoiding “coloring inside the lines” by mixing satire, politics, humor, and wit into classic tales, and bringing a fresh, comedic perspective to each holiday season.

Moving through the collection, Benjamin uses a variety of styles and themes to keep the

narrative intriguing and put readers on edge.

Through satire, Benjamin addresses social and political issues, portraying Herod as a modern politician, depicting reindeer dying due to climate change, and illustrating Santa’s arrest by ICE. He explores the growth of technology in stories like “Have Yourself an Analog Christmas” (p. 158), which depicts the mass layoff of Santa’s elves and their replacement by efficient robots, who quickly cause Christmas chaos due to their frequent mistakes. He touches on war, violence, and gun culture in stories like “Christmas Doggerel 2015”, writing: “...now at Christmastime we wage / religious war in Bethlehem” and “Beneath a star, aglow with peace, / He was God’s gift to us from Heav’n. / But what we want—from Santa—now / Is an AK-47,” (p. 80).

Benjamin uses transgressive humor, particularly in his nativity variations, portraying biblical

“holy” figures as anything but, reimagining grotesque language into the mouths of saints and virgins. For example, in “Interview with the Virgin”, Mary says, “Damn straight!’ she ejaculated. ‘This cockamamie idea that I was standing at attention, welcoming well-wishers ten minutes after birthing Jesus, is a male chauvinist myth. Truth is, Steve, I was flat on my back, puffing like a beached tuna,” (p.10). The clash between sacred biblical settings and characters and the crudeness of modern-day dialogue makes for humor that is both shocking and riveting.

Although the collection spans nearly six decades, stories written more than twenty years ago

still resonate with today’s politics and culture. Many of the issues raised in the early 2000s remain extremely relevant, highlighting the cyclical nature of our nation’s struggles and the illusion of change dangled before us, like an unattainable carrot, by those in power. The stories also cross time periods through their political and cultural references, drawing on everything from FEMA and Guantanamo to Dr. Seuss and the Beach Boys’ Christmas albums.

Benjamin offers reprieve from the crude and crass in more poetic, reflective pieces such as

“Definition of Winter”, with lines like, “I fumbled away the most innocent and thrilling kiss of my life, as the perfect romance. It’s like a dragonfly trapped in amber, forever the same. Toni will always be soft-focus beautiful. I’ll always be clueless,” (p. 167). This piece, along with other lyrical works, gives readers a breath before plunging back into the grit.

In the horror finale, “Nobody Says”, Benjamin ties in recurring characters from earlier stories

and ends the collection with an onslaught of haunting Christmas zombies, ranging from a

decomposing Baby Jesus to elves and reindeer with body parts falling off. The collection concludes with a line that captures the absolute irony of the work, juxtaposing a cheerful religious holiday with the bleak reality of the world: “Christmas only comes once a year… but death is every day,” (p. 216).

Christmas in a Jugular Vein is truly a Christmas collection like no other. It certainly isn’t the

expected feel-good compilation of fireside, jolly tales, but it delivers an unforgiving and bold take that challenges readers to rethink both the Christmas season and the world that sustains it. This is a book that offers something new with every pick-up. It’s a conversation starter, a “wait, did I really read that?” kind of book.

Benjamin’s collection is a reminder that Christmas, like storytelling, doesn’t have to

come wrapped in a perfect bow. Christmas in a Jugular Vein pushes boundaries and provokes discomfort, while simultaneously offering exaggerated and comedic holiday joy.

Review by Britain Powers